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I Am Not A Competitor and I Resent It!

Jason’s mom asked me to work with him because he had serious sinus issues.  Sinus headaches plagued him for a long time, and he found little relief from anything he tried in the past. This called for desperate measures, and I was Jason’s desperate choice!  

I love a great challenge and we got right to work.  Sinus is related to resentment and victim mentality issues.  I remember speaking briefly to his mom about his resentments and most of it was tied to his inability to feel confident on the basketball court.
Jason is a great basketball player, yet if he makes a mistake on the court, he falls apart.  He feels inferior against other players and it causes him great frustration.  He would like to be different, maintaining his confidence on and off the court.  
This story hit home.  Jason could have been my son Joshua.  Joshua experienced the same issues during his high school years.  Joshua too was a great basketball player, as long as he was on the street playing with friends for fun.  Once he took it to a higher level of competition at school, he was unable to maintain his confidence.  
Joshua and Jason have much in common.  They are both non-competitors.  Those who excel in sports or any type of competitive venue do so because they are 2nd chakra personalities.  They love to compete and love even more the trophy at the end of the game.  When out of balance, however, the 2nd chakra competitor has little concern over how their actions affect others; their mentality is “all about me”.  If a mistake is made, they will be sure to blame someone else for it.  Self responsibility is avoided at all costs.  
Jason is not a 2nd chakra personality.  When he makes a mistake, he has a great deal of concern how his mistake affects others.  He gets frustrated with himself and would not think to blame others for his mistakes.  So who is Jason?
Jason is a 4th chakra personality which is connected to the heart.  Jason is a caregiver and loves caring for others.  When out of balance, these personality types put the care for others above their own.  Jason was putting the care of the team above his love for the sport.  He turned this energy into resenting his inability to compete with his other team members.  This explained Jason’s chronic sinus issues.  Resentments attached to victimization will create imbalances in the mucus membranes.  
Jason was directing a huge amount of his energy trying to be a competitor.  It was a waste of energy.  It was time for Jason to heal by making peace with who he came to be.  My job was to help him see clearly who he had become so he could make a different choice. 
Jason should never deny that he is a great basketball player and that he loves playing basketball.  His lesson is that he can never become a competitor; it is not who he came to be.  He focussed so much of his energy on competing that he lost sight of his other gifts.  I asked him, “What do you love to do besides basketball?”  Jason’s answer came quickly.  
“I love to teach children how to play basketball.”  His dream is to one day coach children’s basketball.  This would be a perfect job for a 4th chakra personality.  When balanced, they have great compassion and understanding.  They are great counselors and coaches.  Trying to use this energy to compete goes against their true nature. 
For Jason to heal, he had to make peace with who he came to be.  Understanding this is the first step to becoming that person.  Redirecting his energy toward that understanding is the next step.  Finally, loving who we truthfully are vibrates our energy to heal our self.  If Jason can play basketball, eliminate the energy of competition from it and replace it with the joy of playing (heart chakra), he will no longer have to resent himself.  

My advice to Jason was, “If you choose to play basketball in school, remember that you are doing it because you love doing it (4th chakra) and for no other reason.  Stop trying to compete with the competitor personality; you will always lose.  Love what you are doing and you will always win.  Remember to put most of your energy into who you really are: the caregiver, the counsellor, the coach. Then use your energy to coach those children in a healthy direction so they too can become all they came to be, and love every minute of you becoming you.”
Since writing this article, I received a note from Jason’s mom:  
“I have noticed such a change in him where before even if they won he would still be bummed and resentful because he didn't play much or not play at all.  Now he's happy with the team’s performance. He was ecstatic winning the championship and is very close to his teammates.  They are a great group of kids. He is doing really well and I'm so proud of him. Thank you so much for your help.  It's nice to see him so happy!”

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