People contact me for various reasons; always there is one thing in common: they are face to face with an issue they are unable to recognize or change on their own. Gary has what he calls “anxiety flush.” His face often flushes a deep crimson red when placed in social situations.
Gary’s anxiety flush was inconsistent. It did not happen all the time; yet it happened often enough so that it was discomforting, not to mention embarrassing. Rescue Remedy sometimes brought relief. However, he knew it was not fixing his problem; and sometimes, Rescue Remedy had no effect at all. Gary was ready to search for the clues that would lead to his healing.
Anxiety is created through deep rooted fears. We began working through Gary’s fear layers, one layer at a time; however, the anxiety flush persisted. The good news was that Gary was becoming more aware of some of the attachments to this physical phenomenon. He was recognizing that many social situations felt uncomfortable and mostly, he preferred to be left out of them. His field of work, however, often put him smack dab in the middle of those very social situations that Gary tried to avoid.
His most recent layer showed him another clue that needed unraveling and Gary was ready to unravel! He was excited to share what he experienced. “I had a revealing weekend. It's not often that I have two social events in one weekend, mainly because I avoid them. What was interesting about these events was that one caused my red flush and the other did not. I don’t understand what was different.”
He continued his recollection of the two parties. “Both parties were pretty much attended by the same people; people I knew quite well. The only difference was that they were in two different homes.” That was a clue worth noting!
That tidbit of information perked my curiosity. “Let’s talk about the differences between the two homes.” Gary did not know what I was searching for, so I tested through his memory cells. What came to light was the first home felt very comfortable and lived in. It reminded him of the home he and his family were creating together. The other home, on the other hand, made him feel extremely uncomfortable. There was a sense of perfection; nothing out of place. Could the perfect home create an anxiety in Gary that was undeniable?
I was excited to hear his answer to my next question; although I could tell Gary was still not connecting the dots. “What type of home did you grow up in?”
Gary thought for a moment before answering. “My mother was constantly cleaning our home. We were not allowed to play in it. Messes were cleaned up before they were even made. My dad worked a lot; but when he was home, he joined Mom’s obsessive cleaning rituals.”
What did that do to that little boy? Gary learned to replace anxiety for the joy that was missing in his perfect environment. The fear of making a mess or breaking something in his perfect home caused a great deal of stress on him; and his body continued to respond with the anxiety he learned as a child when faced with a similar situation today.
Once Gary connected to this old memory cell, he could now shift that old energy. The adult Gary could heal his inner anxiety-driven child by recognizing the imbalance, honoring the way he learned to protect himself, and then changing his attachment to the situation. Could Gary reprogram himself by dealing in a new and different way with those who are choosing to be obsessive cleaners?
Knowledge is power, and it remains to be seen what he will do with this information. One thing is certain, Gary has an opportunity to heal by changing himself. How he does that is entirely up to him.