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When Change is Surrounded by Fear...

I received an email recently: “I did it. I made it through this layer.”  Ellie was proud of herself; I was proud of her too. Healing can be quite challenging. Layers are much like a roller coaster. Sometimes the ride is intense, scary; other times the ride feels more like a kiddy carnival. At the very least, each layer is interesting; we certainly are interesting beings. As we face different aspects of ourself, the question becomes, is that who I want to be NOW? That was a question Ellie had to answer and this is her story:

Ellie was sure she wanted to move to Colorado. She was feeling excited about the move; until she moved. “Things have not turned out as expected,” she wrote. “I don’t know if I can do this. I feel very scared.”

On past layers, Ellie connected to her “gut” intuition. Each time she followed her intuition, it took her where she wanted to go. Yet, fear often managed to get in her way. This layer was showing Ellie exactly how fear manipulated her joy.

As the fear surfaced, Ellie’s intuition told her to “hold on; things will be sorted out.” Although she wanted to believe in herself, she felt very uncomfortable. She had been crying, yelling and feeling nauseous. She feared that everything she does ends up in pain. It was here she had an “ah-ha” moment. She remembered that each time she tried to move and start a new life, she never made it through. She left during that uncomfortable transition period.

She also realized the “uncomfortable feeling” needed to be dealt with. Was the discomfort an opportunity to make a different choice? Is it time to work through her fears instead of giving into them? Cry if you must; scream if you must; throw up if you must. Do not let fear win! Would Ellie take her power back?

I wrote to Ellie: “... you are seeing your pattern clearly, and you have a choice. You can run again and continue being afraid to try something new (although I do not believe spiritually that is what you want to do)...or you can face your fears and work through them. If you have Mimulus take a big dose to ground you into the courage to maintain the course. And then use a smaller dose of  Mimulus each time the fear attempts to surface again. I think that will help you get through this.”

A short time later, Ellie wrote: “Things are going well. Right after I sent you that email, I felt a very strong reassurance, and things are now coming together. I’m enjoying myself. I have about a week left on this layer. I felt a shift and I’m thinking it’s the next layer revealing itself. This layer I worked on separating trauma & depression. I think I’ve healed the trauma. My second chakra feels completely different, and I have noticed an obvious shift. I think the depression piece is coming forward to be healed next.” I agreed with Ellie; get ready for the next ride.

Ellie’s determination to heal herself through each layer is not easy. Yet, it will ultimately get her where she wants to be... loving her life by loving her choices. As long as Ellie fears her choices, she cannot be loving them. Choose love Ellie; if we choose love, fear cannot win.

Repetitive Patterns - Opportunities to Heal?

While healing at high vibrational levels, we may be offered gifts on a silver platter. One of our greatest lessons is to recognize these gifts as divine. When offered, do you graciously accept the gift, or do you choose to analyze it? When divinity hands you a gift, I hope you receive it with gratitude. The more we practice gratitude, the more we are given... Its energetic! Gratitude = abundance.

Gail was recently handed a gift on a silver platter. She was recommended for a job in which she was extremely qualified. She applied with reservation. Half of her wanted the job; the other half had doubts about the job. The doubts got in the way. Instead of simply accepting the gift she was offered, she chose to analyze it. 
  • “If I take that job, I expect .....” 
  • “If they offer me the job, I don’t want to have to do ......” 
Gail was slapping a gift horse in the mouth. Why would she do that?

Gail’s life lesson is to heal disappointments. Her pattern has been to attach expectations to her experiences, and expectations create disappointments. Round and round she goes, unaware of what she is doing. Her expectations created a glitch within the experience. Even with her qualifications, experience and recommendation, she was bypassed as a finalist. Silver platters have a way of being taken away when not appreciated.

With further discussion, Gail realized the job offer was another opportunity to change herself. Even after healing layers upon layers, her patterned cells won again. However, there is a light at the end of the disappointment tunnel... 

As we spoke about the experience, a light went off. She got it; she owned it. I explained that she had a choice. She could become the victim in this experience and continue to repeat her patterns; or she could learn the lesson, which would set her up for the next opportunity to try again.  “Ask and you shall receive” is very powerful at this point in our healing. If we ask for another lesson, the lesson will come swiftly... much like, “If we build it, they will come” energy.

After all was said and done, Gail brought me up to date with an email: “I believe I am experiencing one lesson after another today. They are small, yet they are significant. I think I am finally understanding how I set myself up for disappointments.” A powerful moment for Gail.

In addition, Gail had a major “ah-ha” moment.  “I remember having the very same experience in College when I was offered a job in which the very same circumstances occurred. I think I am repeating this pattern to learn something quite powerful.” This is where we connect the dots. The pains of our past are recreated in our present... not as a punishment, but as an opportunity to try again. Why not try differently?

The next step for Gail is to see if she can change her attachment to her life lessons that are revealing themselves. Once the BIG elephant in the room is removed, it is often easy to see what is hidden beneath. 

Gail is seeing clearly now. I hope she is ready to move disappointment out of the way and go directly to appreciation... much like bypassing jail and going directly to home. Appreciation after all is the same energy as abundance, and abundance creates more of what we desire in life. Its time for Gail to decide what she wants more of in her life.

I hope she picks the silver platter next time with gratitude.

Seasonal Allergies and Euphrasia

I normally am not bothered by seasonal allergies. This year was a different story. Last week it became evidently clear that allergies were aggravating my 6th chakra mucus membranes. After hiking with Wes on Friday, I came home feeling clogged, exhausted and grumpy. I could not deny that the pollen had clogged my system. I mostly felt it behind and above my eyes, and although absent a headache, the heaviness was .. well.. heavy.

The first thought that comes to mind for mucus membranes is Willow. And there was one particular incident recently that may have sparked a little resentment in me. I took a dose. There was a slight shift; yet, nothing that said to me.. “that’s it!”

An hour later, with not much relief, I clearly heard the word Euphrasia. Euphrasia is a homeopathic remedy that helps heal many eye symptoms. And the pollen was definitely attacking the eye area. Throughout healing, I have learned to listen to my divine wisdom. I went in search of Euphrasia which was no further than my alternative medicine cabinet. I took two pellets. 

In less than 5 minutes, my head began clearing noticeably. I’m not kidding...5 minutes! Before bed, I took another pellet. By morning I felt 95% better. I was on the right track. In the morning, I took an additional dose of Euphrasia (for good measure) along with another dose of Willow (just because it felt right). Allergy symptoms no more! I feel clear and healthy.

According to Yoga International, Euphrasia is used for: 

“Symptoms that are centered in the eyes: profuse tearing that is acrid and burning in nature; bland, non-irritating nasal discharge. Respiratory symptoms (runny nose, cough) are worse on rising in the morning; symptoms are better in open air and in the dark.”

Although I did not have all the symptoms, I knew enough about Euphrasia that it is often given for the first signs of eye issues, and my symptoms were definitely centered around my eyes... plus I distinctly heard to use it! I had the remedy; why not try it? 

According to Doctors Health Press,  When it comes to treating eye conditions, homeopathic euphrasia is one of the better remedies available. After all, the homeopathic remedy is made from the plant known as “eyebright.” It is believed that eyebright got its name from a traditional indigenous medication for treating eye irritation.” 

You can read the entire article here: 

As you all know, I am a powerful advocate of alternative medicines. Euphrasia came to my rescue with no side effects.

I have a new found appreciation for those who suffer with allergies. They are not fun. Yet, I feel honored to have experienced the symptoms so I can learn and share with you a powerful way to help heal them. Truth be told, I’ve probably felt allergies at a subtle level for a week, yet may have thought it was something I had eaten or drank.. which of course may have aggravated the situation. Friday was my day of reckoning, however, when my body made it perfectly clear that healing allergies was front and center.

I am very blessed to have so many alternative medicines at my disposal. As we heal, we collect all the remedies we may require throughout our journey. The trick is learning when to use them.

Recognizing the Bitter/Victim Glitch

Tina has been healing old bitterness for a very long time. She has stored it in many areas of her body. It is tied to old childhood pain. No surprise there. After working through bitterness in her lungs that turned into pneumonia, she was ready to move to another layer.

The next layer would take her to the 6th chakra mucus membranes where her bitterness is attached to old victim mentality. Much of this present energy is tied to “having” to take care of an aging mother and feeling she lacks the help and support she needs. 

While speaking about this particular energy, she was excited to share with me that her mother was going back into a nursing home and both her sons were being supportive and helpful through this transition. I could feel her appreciation cells front and center until...

A moment of doubt surfaced; she suddenly lost her focus. I felt the bitter/victim energy emerge, ready to pounce. For that moment, she was in the past, remembering what her sons had previously not done to help her.

She quickly came back to the present. I recognized this as a moment of healing. I wanted to make sure she understood the importance of what I had just witnessed.

“Did you feel the glitch that just happened?” I asked. 

At first, she seemed confused, unsure of what I meant. I explained what I saw and what I felt. “Did you feel it too?”

There was a moment I felt she might have denied it. Yet, she had done enough healing around that bitter/victim energy; she chose to explore more. I shared my thoughts with her. “I think you were moving away from bitterness and into appreciation and your bitter/victim cells were not happy. I think the bitter/victim energy wanted to be sparked, and this moment would have been the perfect opportunity to spark them.”

I was happy that I was there to witness this opportunity with Tina. I encouraged her to stay in the appreciation energy. “Recognize those old cells, honor them for protecting you all those years, then tell them you are done being bitter; you are done being a victim. Go back to appreciation by speaking it clearly. Be in the present; get out of the past. That was then; this is now, and right now, your sons are supporting you. You are getting your needs met.”

Tina listened and understood how important this was. She was able to stay in her appreciation mode. This was a powerful healing moment, and I felt blessed to share it with her.

Will she be tested again? Probably. The universal force of energy wants to know if we mean what we say. Now that she understands how the bitter/victim energy emerges, she can be ready. This is our moment of truth. Who do we want to be? This is our moment of choice. Tina can easily go back to bitter/victim mentality; that road is clearly marked and easy to walk. Or she can love that she chose to appreciate instead. Why not choose love? Love really does heal all...and the way to love is through understanding and appreciation. Tina is on her way.

High Blood Pressure, Dehydration, Memory Loss and Coconut Water

What do all these things have in common? More than we may realize. All the medical tests in the world sometimes don’t give us the story we need to heal ourselves. This is my mom’s story:

“She is 87. It’s to be expected.” That’s the doctor’s prognosis. I don’t buy it. Not so long ago, my Mom was healthy and independent, enjoying her great grandchildren’s birthday parties. She is now laying in a hospital bed, completely incoherent tied to an IV.

Its Mom’s third visit to the hospital. With each visit, her symptoms worsen. This time she was brought in for chronic dehydration causing weakness, hypothermia, high blood pressure and confusion. Doctors surround her. Are we losing her? Its not that I deny she will one day pass; I simply don’t think it’s today.

My sisters have exhausted themselves and their options. Desperate times call for desperate measures; they turn to me for help. I am the sister whose healing beliefs were considered strange; weird. I came to peace long ago being called the “black sheep” of the family. I am now ready to move from the past and into the present, doing what I do best - teach people how to heal themselves. For the first time ever, I take the role to teach my mom.

When mom entered the ER, we were told that her ammonia levels were high and she was suffering with a UTI. We did what any good daughters would do; we googled high ammonia levels. 

According to Healthgrades:
“The liver plays a vital role in most metabolic processes. One of these processes is the detoxification of ammonia in the blood. Ammonia is a by-product of normal protein metabolism and is produced by bacteria in the intestines. When the liver is damaged, the detoxification process may be disturbed and cause rising blood ammonia levels. High levels of blood ammonia can cause problems in several organs, most notably the brain.”

I voiced my concerns to her primary doctor, “All of her symptoms suggest high ammonia levels.” Yet he informs me that no report from the ER with this information exists. I am learning that test reports are golden in the medical field. Nothing can be done without the essential report. My concerns are dismissed. Luckily, I am not easily dismissed. I continue my research. After three days on the IV, my mom is looking better and is now able to speak, although her words are slurred and slow. A few words together are better than none at all.

I continue pushing about high ammonia levels. To appease me, her doctor orders an ammonia test. It comes out a bit high at 40. He is not concerned. I ask him if being on the IV for 3 days could have flushed her system and brought the ammonia levels down? “It’s possible,” he agrees, still not convinced. He orders another test the following day; her ammonia levels increased to 45. He is now concerned.

I explain about the liver and chemicals. I request that all medications that are not essential be eliminated, one of which is an anti-cancer drug she was put on18 months ago. He offers his blessing; I call the oncologist. After explaining my concerns, I am told by the oncologist office to “get her off that med as soon as possible.” The office also admits, “I’m not even sure why she’s on it. Her cancer was so insignificant. She really doesn’t need it.” I have to wonder.. then why is she on it? I make sure the hospital stops the anti-cancer med immediately.

Although still weak and tired, each day Mom shows signs of improvement. She is brought to rehab for therapy to increase her stamina and muscle strength. She is now eating food and water on her own. However, her blood pressure continues to be an issue. The only answer at the hospital is to add more blood pressure meds. Slowly, her blood pressure balances. 

My next step is to clean up her diet.

I explain my concerns about the city water and the cranberry juice filled with sugar, red dyes and blue dyes that the hospital offers. Finally, the nutritionist picks up the cranberry juice and reads the label. She looks shocked. She admits that she never read the label before. She wouldn’t drink it. My mom takes note; I may not be so crazy after all. 

Most of the doctors and therapists deny the connection. Their belief is that small amounts of chemicals have little impact on the body. I assure them differently, “If you were serving my chemically sensitive son this food and water, he would not be able to think either. I want as many chemicals as possible eliminated from her diet.” With a shrug of their shoulders, I am given the green light to do as I wish. 

Two days away from discharge, I focus on cleaning up her home.

Upon discharge, her home is filled with pure spring water, organic cranberry juice, and coconut water for electrolytes. Each day her memory improves, and she is feeling better. 

However, it doesn’t take long before her blood pressure and heart rate begin to dangerously drop. I’m pretty sure she’s over medicated. Maybe the coconut water is helping? I make an emergency call to the doctor. He suggests we cut her blood pressure meds in half. I agree. 

Three days later, my mom’s blood pressure is perfect; her heart rate is good. Her memory is back, her stamina is improving. We watch her heal. There are still two complaints; a heaviness in her head and shaking of her hands. I believe both are side effects from one of her meds.

Three weeks later, mom takes a huge step backwards, and we are back at the hospital. What happened?  After a four hour evening away from home, mom began fading fast. She drank little water and no coconut water while she was out. She quickly became completely dehydrated, confused, weak and lethargic. Her blood pressure peaked. Increasing her meds was the doctor’s fix; I thought differently. Instead of trying to fix the blood pressure, why not fix the electrolyte problem?

Mom being away from coconut water with electrolytes caused severe dehydration which caused the body’s rise in blood pressure. I was focusing on an absorption issue.

After a week on the IV, her blood pressure was still not normalizing; after a short time off the IV, dehydration returned quickly. I knew the coconut water was instrumental in my mother’s health. I ordered her back on it. The nurses and my sisters complied. Within two days on coconut water, my mother’s blood pressure was stable and she was taken off the IV. Her body was able to maintain health. 

My sisters and I made the decision to mix half spring water with half coconut water. Mom drank it throughout the day. Each day she improved physically and mentally. By the third day she was discharged. The last hurdle that needed attention was her constant light headedness and her uncontrollable shaking of her hands.  

The following week, we went to the doctor’s office for a quick check. Her blood pressure was now too low. Mom was able to eliminate another of her morning blood pressure pills. Within a short time, the light headedness disappeared and her hands stopped shaking. She graduated from her walker and was able to use only a cane for assistance. Her interests in reading, cooking and cleaning returned. My mom is healthier now than she has been in a long time. 

When she complains about having to drink coconut water throughout the day, I remind her that if all she has to do to be healthy is drink coconut water, then she has nothing to complain about. I get her to laugh at herself.

I learned as my mom’s advocate that those who spend the most time with our elderly parents have the most knowledge to help them heal. A medical test does not always give the answers we need. It was up to me to keep the vast array of doctors on the same page, something that was lacking between them. I made sure I did my job well.  

Its not that I expect my mom to live forever, I don’t. However, while she’s here, I do want her to enjoy her life. We were able to go to dinner the other night and she truly enjoyed herself. I plan on more of these adventures together.

Life is meant to be joyful... what we eat and drink makes all the difference in the world. Advocating for your elderly parent(s) is essential, and drinking coconut water may be the secret weapon! 

Healing The "I Can't Stand Anyone" Anger

Water Violet is a flower essence used to heal the anger associated with wanting to be left alone or more appropriately put, the anger tied to“I can’t stand any of you”.  Aloof, proud, disdainful and condescending are some of the words used to describe the Water Violet personality type. 

At the end of Sarah’s “water violet” layer, she admitted, “I didn’t see the energy of Water Violet in me at all. I don’t understand why I took it on this layer.” I've worked long enough to know that flower essences work in mysterious ways. It was time for Sarah to find that something in herself that Water Violet was attempting to reveal.

What Sarah did recognize on this layer was how dysfunctional her friendships had become. "Why do I have a need to be involved in dysfunctional relationships?" She admitted she didn’t have a lot of friends to choose from; hence.. were they better than nothing? Yet she still questioned, "How does Water Violet relate to me?" As we talked about her experiences through the layer, I asked if she recognized Water Violet anger in the friends she deems dysfunctional. “Yes,” she admitted. “That sounds more like them than me!”

It was time to find the Water Violet in Sarah. We spoke further. She admitted that once she hangs up from her telephone conversations with her dysfunctional friends, a deep anger emerges within herself. Through this anger, she has a need to call another friend to let out the steam. There it is .. water violet anger at its finest - I can’t stand any of them!

My next question was, “Why are you so attached to their dysfunctions?” As long as Sarah is frustrated with THEIR issues, does she avoid dealing with her own issues? Does she use frustration to hide her pain?  “Exactly what is the pain you are avoiding?”

Sarah realized the pain she is avoiding is tied to feeling unloved and alone. Her Water Violet anger toward her friend's dysfunctional behaviors hides her loneliness. To heal, Sarah will have to detach from their pains so she can feel her own. This is the path to healing.

Its healthy to guide and support our friends through their pain; its unhealthy to be mad because they are in pain. This “ah-ha” moment has the ability to help Sarah redirect her anger away from them, and begin focussing on loving herself.

The next time Sarah feels her frustration emerge will be an opportunity to heal herself. This is the moment she can consciously choose to change her own patterns. Will she be able to avoid the need to vent her anger? Will she honor her anger and choose to do something that stimulates her own joy? One day, Sarah just may remember that joy is so much more fun than anger.

Healing Childhood Trauma with Courage

Jane’s background is not as uncommon as one would think. Her family life was abusive, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. “I grew up with what many would call a harsh and cruel father and a disconnected mother. My father would embarrass and humiliate me and my mother allowed it.”
Because of her upbringing, everything in Jane’s life felt traumatic. She lived in a constant state of anxiety. “What I thought was fear and shyness was actually embarrassment and humiliation. Although I did not realize it at the time, embarrassment and humiliation kept me from trying new things, meeting new people and going to places that were unfamiliar. This is not to say I didn't do some of these things; however, if I did I felt an enormous amount of anxiety. I learned to avoid what I could. I feared looking stupid, messing up, being laughed at.”

For years Jane dug through her fears. What she kept coming back to was a profound truth that the way to heal her old trauma was through courage.. the courage to be who she really was. Who was that? 

Because of her childhood trauma, Jane lost herself and became a follower. Following felt easy, less traumatic. Her layers, however, consistently guided Jane toward her leadership qualities. Fear kept her from getting there. 

Fast forward to her adult life, and anything that remotely resembled humiliation or embarrassment stimulated Jane’s old trauma. Jane never learned how to cope with her childhood abuse. She ran and hid as a child; she did the same as an adult. She understood that most of the time running and hiding made no sense, yet she had not put the pieces together and had no control over her reaction.

Most recently, Jane had a huge breakthrough. She recognized that all her trauma and anxiety was attached to the humiliation and embarrassment she experienced as a child. This time, however, instead of running and hiding, Jane kept working this energy. Her next step was to learn how to deal differently, with courage. 

As with all old patterns, when we are ready, life will present opportunities to heal ourself. Jane began to have experiences that showed her a new way of being. When embarrassment or humiliation reared its head, Jane used all her courage to face the situation and deal with it.. in a healthy way. Each experience allowed Jane to grow stronger and more confident. And within a short time, Jane knew she was healing the pains from her childhood.

“Once I understood the connections, I imagined that there was going to be one big event that was going to bring me from 0% courage to 100% courage, like a battle of wills. However, that is not what happened. The shifts occurred in stages. Little things started to change, and I felt myself slowly gaining courage with these little changes. As I gained my inner courage, I was able to verbalize how I felt without my cheeks turning red. I started to make decisions that I knew were right for my family without having to get approval first; it felt great. I started requiring my children to listen better; I'm the Mom and I deserve respect. Things started going more smoothly and peacefully at home. Now I feel so much better, I am happier and stronger and more quietly courageous than ever. What a wonderful feeling to finally be free from embarrassment and humiliation. I am looking forward to finally trying something new for myself that I've always wanted to...maybe learning how to dance!”

As Jane so eloquently voiced, “Courage is not loud, it does not scream or fight; courage is not aggressive or confrontational. Courage is a quiet strength from within...”