Two weeks after returning from a three-month holiday in the Caribbean, I found myself back to the reality of being a Gma who was needed by many. The push and pull of other’s needs can play havoc on our happiness. Guilt has a way of making its way in and before we know it, we wonder if we are choosing what we WANT to do (freedom) or what we feel we HAVE to do (guilt). There is a huge difference between the two. One is healthy.. the other not so healthy.
“Mom, Wendy has to work full time all week. Can you watch the kids?” What this means in real terms is that I will be babysitting Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday for Ayla and Wes; Friday for Connor and Avery; and on Saturday I’ll be sponsoring my annual Easter Egg Hunt. That’s a full week of babies, leaving very little time for myself!
Stress and anxiety surfaced almost immediately; exhaustion was in line behind them. Eventually this energy could turn into resenting the whole situation, which would not make me (or anyone else for that matter) happy at all. By recognizing what I was about to do, I was able to choose differently. I spoke to myself and my emotions. “Exactly what is it that I’m stressed and anxious about?”
Once I asked the question, the truth quickly revealed itself, “I’m stressed over the 40 minute drive back and forth, morning and night. That feels exhausting!” Now that I understood the problem, what is the solution?
I picked up the phone. “Okay, Josh, I’ll do it. However, I have one condition. Tell Ayla and Wes that Gma is coming for a sleep over.”
I packed my bags and moved myself into my private room at Ayla and Wes’ house. What a fun three days we had together. Something special happens when Gma shows up for a sleep over anxiety and stress free. Happy and free replaced guilt and resentment.
Anxiety is our spirit’s way of letting us know we have a problem. Healing can be as simple as taking a moment to understand our attachments. For every problem there is a solution. My solution was to love the choice I ultimately made.. and love really does heal all.