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Pain IS the Absence of Love

Sometimes it takes a smack in the head to get “it”… and even if we get it, will we practice it? I am learning to do both – First, to trust in what I know and more importantly, to practice what I know.

This past week, I was given two powerful, painful and loving experiences to bring me to my highest state of knowing that pain IS the absence of love, which has now become my truth.

Hollybeth and I often take our dog, Maggie, for walks in the woods. On the way back from our walk, our eyes were intent at avoiding the rocks along the path. And for some reason, we both looked up at the very same moment. And in that moment, right in front of her face was a dead tree branch hanging in our path about 3/4” in diameter. Neither of us had time to divert the outcome. It smacked Hollybeth right below her left eye as she walked directly into it. Ouch! That hurt. I know because I saw and heard it hit. Of course, Hollybeth felt the blow.. and it was instantly pain-ful!

Her immediate response from this pain was anger. And then, I remembered what I not only have learned but what I teach others. Don’t feed negativity with more negativity. Don’t feed pain with anger. Instead, heal pain with love.

I reminded her of this lesson and asked her to allow me to love her through her pain. She gratefully consented. I gently ran my fingers over the pain spot and talked lovingly to it. And for about 3 minutes, I continued this mantra… over and over and over. And then her moment of pain passed…she was no longer IN the pain, she had gone through the pain.

The next morning, I looked her in the eye and asked, “How does your eye feel?”

“There is nothing there mom… my eye is fine!” And sure enough, no swelling, no black and blue, just Hollybeth’s beautiful face.

Obviously, one pain experience was not enough to test my theory. A few days later, as I was driving my convertible (with the top down) along a beautiful country road, a nut from a tree overhead decided to drop its fruit. It hit me on the left side of my head at the hairline. The intensity of the fall and the size of the nut felt like a rock and the pain in my head took no time to begin to develop into a head “ache”. And for a second, my pain turned to anger, and then I remembered again that in order to avoid getting stuck in the pain I had to love myself through the pain.

As I did with Hollybeth, I did with myself. I gently rubbed my fingers over the pain and talked lovingly to it. I continued this mantra for about 3 minutes. Five minutes or so later, I felt a dull ache in that same spot. My “self” needed more of my own love. So I continued the rubbing and the love from me to me. All in all it took about 5 minutes of my time to give my “self” the loving attention I needed in that moment. And then it was gone. It was as if I had never been smacked in the head. No swelling and no black and blue spot!

I was grateful for that lesson. It awakened me to the reality that pain truly is the absence of love. If we can remember to replace our anger with our love of “self”, healing can flow quickly, easily and oh so enlightening!

11 comments:

Kathy said...

Hi Linda,
Thanks for posting this. Joshua injured his hamstring in Aug. The Arnica and Traumeel have helped, but not enough to allow him to play football. He is pretty angry about it. Thanks for sharing, I'm sure this will help. Love your blogs almost as much as I love you!

Joy Gaffney said...

Hey Linda, those were great stories about pain being the absence of Love. I'm also glad that Holly and yourself are fine. I totally believe in that process. Love, Joy

Geeta said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Geeta said...

Linda,

It's great being able to turn to your posts in moments of turmoil here at college :)

It's funny, because your statement "to trust in what I know and more importantly, to practice what I know." Has been a frequent topic of conversation between my mother and me lately... attempting to do the very same thing :))

Thanks!

Food And Truth said...

Thank you Linda,
Two beautiful stories sweetly told. Who could deny that a mother lovingly kissing away her child's mishap is the best medicine ever? But oh, how I need to be reminded of the remedy to lovingly care for myself! And thank you also for reminding me to immediately dispel the negative and heal with the positive.
Be well!
Karen

Joanne said...

Hi Linda, I just witnessed this in action yesterday as I hit the side of my hand REALLY hard on my dresser. The pain was so intense that it shot up to my elbow and back down to my inner palm. My arm was sore and weak all day until my son came home (he is 11 yrs old). I told him what happened with my hand and he kissed my boo-boo for me. Right away the pain was diminished so much and I felt his love. He is so adorable and loving and I felt his beautiful sweetness in that moment. I gave him a big hug and thanked him. Today I have the strength back in my hand and arm and the pain is nearly gone. You know, there are so many times when a mother kisses the pains away for her children but I truly witnessed the return of that love in his kiss; How divinely powerful. Thank you so much Linda. JoanneB

embers'flame said...

this is the first day I have ever visited and I am so happy that I have been directed here.
Thank you so much . I read about Love and Pain, about the cough/bitterness, aND THE SINUS INFECTION. i PLAN ON READING MUCH MUCH MORE.
bLESSINGS PEACE IN 2012
emberz_flame@hotmail.com

Stephanie Monson said...

I absolutely loved the principle you shared. The cure to any kind of pain is Love. I want to being to use this in my own life. I was wondering, What kinds of things would you say to those spots of pain when you spoke lovingly to them? Please let me know and thank you again for writing about this incredible experience.

Stephanie Monson said...

I absolutely loved the principle you shared. The cure to any kind of pain is Love. I want to being to use this in my own life. I was wondering, What kinds of things would you say to those spots of pain when you spoke lovingly to them? Please let me know and thank you again for writing about this incredible experience.

Linda Wojcik is Joshua's Mom teaching parents how to advocate for their sensitive children. said...

@Stephane Monson:
The words I use most often to heal pain are very simple: I am so sorry I hurt myself; please forgive me; I love me!

Then I always touch the spot, hug the spot and/or kiss the spot. It feels good to learn how to love all of me! And it works every time without fail!

Karen Salvatore said...

I learned from my Mother to love and kiss around the "Boo Boo" and it always worked! Thank you for waking me up to using this approach on myself and other adults.