Pain IS the Absence of Love

Sometimes it takes a smack in the head to get “it”… and even if we get it, will we practice it? I am learning to do both – First, to trust in what I know and more importantly, to practice what I know.

This past week, I was given two powerful, painful and loving experiences to bring me to my highest state of knowing that pain IS the absence of love, which has now become my truth.

Hollybeth and I often take our dog, Maggie, for walks in the woods. On the way back from our walk, our eyes were intent at avoiding the rocks along the path. And for some reason, we both looked up at the very same moment. And in that moment, right in front of her face was a dead tree branch hanging in our path about 3/4” in diameter. Neither of us had time to divert the outcome. It smacked Hollybeth right below her left eye as she walked directly into it. Ouch! That hurt. I know because I saw and heard it hit. Of course, Hollybeth felt the blow.. and it was instantly pain-ful!

Her immediate response from this pain was anger. And then, I remembered what I not only have learned but what I teach others. Don’t feed negativity with more negativity. Don’t feed pain with anger. Instead, heal pain with love.

I reminded her of this lesson and asked her to allow me to love her through her pain. She gratefully consented. I gently ran my fingers over the pain spot and talked lovingly to it. And for about 3 minutes, I continued this mantra… over and over and over. And then her moment of pain passed…she was no longer IN the pain, she had gone through the pain.

The next morning, I looked her in the eye and asked, “How does your eye feel?”

“There is nothing there mom… my eye is fine!” And sure enough, no swelling, no black and blue, just Hollybeth’s beautiful face.

Obviously, one pain experience was not enough to test my theory. A few days later, as I was driving my convertible (with the top down) along a beautiful country road, a nut from a tree overhead decided to drop its fruit. It hit me on the left side of my head at the hairline. The intensity of the fall and the size of the nut felt like a rock and the pain in my head took no time to begin to develop into a head “ache”. And for a second, my pain turned to anger, and then I remembered again that in order to avoid getting stuck in the pain I had to love myself through the pain.

As I did with Hollybeth, I did with myself. I gently rubbed my fingers over the pain and talked lovingly to it. I continued this mantra for about 3 minutes. Five minutes or so later, I felt a dull ache in that same spot. My “self” needed more of my own love. So I continued the rubbing and the love from me to me. All in all it took about 5 minutes of my time to give my “self” the loving attention I needed in that moment. And then it was gone. It was as if I had never been smacked in the head. No swelling and no black and blue spot!

I was grateful for that lesson. It awakened me to the reality that pain truly is the absence of love. If we can remember to replace our anger with our love of “self”, healing can flow quickly, easily and oh so enlightening!