Water Violet is a flower essence used to heal the anger associated with wanting to be left alone or more appropriately put, the anger tied to“I can’t stand any of you”. Aloof, proud, disdainful and condescending are some of the words used to describe the Water Violet personality type.
At the end of Sarah’s “water violet” layer, she admitted, “I didn’t see the energy of Water Violet in me at all. I don’t understand why I took it on this layer.” I've worked long enough to know that flower essences work in mysterious ways. It was time for Sarah to find that something in herself that Water Violet was attempting to reveal.
What Sarah did recognize on this layer was how dysfunctional her friendships had become. "Why do I have a need to be involved in dysfunctional relationships?" She admitted she didn’t have a lot of friends to choose from; hence.. were they better than nothing? Yet she still questioned, "How does Water Violet relate to me?" As we talked about her experiences through the layer, I asked if she recognized Water Violet anger in the friends she deems dysfunctional. “Yes,” she admitted. “That sounds more like them than me!”
It was time to find the Water Violet in Sarah. We spoke further. She admitted that once she hangs up from her telephone conversations with her dysfunctional friends, a deep anger emerges within herself. Through this anger, she has a need to call another friend to let out the steam. There it is .. water violet anger at its finest - I can’t stand any of them!
My next question was, “Why are you so attached to their dysfunctions?” As long as Sarah is frustrated with THEIR issues, does she avoid dealing with her own issues? Does she use frustration to hide her pain? “Exactly what is the pain you are avoiding?”
Sarah realized the pain she is avoiding is tied to feeling unloved and alone. Her Water Violet anger toward her friend's dysfunctional behaviors hides her loneliness. To heal, Sarah will have to detach from their pains so she can feel her own. This is the path to healing.
Its healthy to guide and support our friends through their pain; its unhealthy to be mad because they are in pain. This “ah-ha” moment has the ability to help Sarah redirect her anger away from them, and begin focussing on loving herself.
The next time Sarah feels her frustration emerge will be an opportunity to heal herself. This is the moment she can consciously choose to change her own patterns. Will she be able to avoid the need to vent her anger? Will she honor her anger and choose to do something that stimulates her own joy? One day, Sarah just may remember that joy is so much more fun than anger.