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I am not my EGO!

Amy was filled with fear. At least that was the feeling I got when we began working together over a year ago. Her life was limited. The thought of being around people kept her home bound. Spending time with her animals replaced time with her family. Relationships were difficult to manage.

Fear flowers were a huge part of her therapy. And throughout the year, each layer allowed her to see clearly how fear kept her captive. It was more than being a prisoner in her own home. Her ability to have a relationship with anyone was merely a memory of the past. Fear had become her constant companion, separating her self from any joy or happiness.

Her most recent layer opened a new doorway for her. She confessed, “I am actually seeing my ego as a separate piece of me.” That was a powerful statement and one I had experienced myself many years ago. Recognizing the ego as separate from our “self” allowed Amy to understand that she did not have to be-come her ego. She could choose to be-come something else.

A bit complicated I understand, so let me try and share my own experience with ego. As I healed at my deepest layers, I started to see my ego as an energy that approached from my right side, moved through me and settled as energy on my left side, completely outside of my ‘self’. It was in this moment of recognizing the ego as a separate entity that I heard it speak to me. It always had the same story.. “It should have been this” or “it could have been that”. And it was in that moment of recognition that I had an opportunity to address my ego truthfully. “Yes, it could have been that, but it is not; instead, I am grateful for what my life has become.”

Each time I was able to redirect my “self” away from victim and into gratitude (which took a great deal of time and energy), I watched the energy of my ego begin to dissipate. And with practice, my truth began to replace my ego. I no longer needed to be a victim; I be-came appreciative.

It took time for Amy (and me) to arrive at this place of understanding our separateness. We each had to peel away years and years of the anger and fear we had accumulated through our experiences. It was time well spent.

Amy now practices each day replacing her fear with joy, the joy of sharing herself with friends and family. And most recently she actually traveled out of state to visit with her son, something she could not have conceived of only a short time ago.

With conscious choice and daily practice, Amy can one day completely free her “self’ of the fears that once controlled her every thought and action.


JM said...

Awesome.. thanks so much for sharing Amy's story. I am sure we all can relate to some degree.

Unknown said...

Thoughts generated through ego often represent failure. If not allowed to settle in us, our actions can represent success. I believe blocking the ego is not as successful as challenging the ego through truth. Thanks Linda, Awesome reading for people with anxiety and panic disorder. As usual is it ok to print and share?